I ate so much and I want to eat more, I'm waiting and I can't stop from wanting to scarfe down all of my angsiaties (no clue how to even fucking spell that shit, fuck dictionary.com). I want to smoke another cigarette but I only have two left. Fuck being positive all the time, it's only led me to hurting myself again and being okay with being a fucking fat ass and that's not okay!
I havn't cut in probably over a year and I ended up doing it again last night, I felt so numb afterwards and I can never tell whether I love or hate the feeling because I can't really feel anything once I do it. It was fairly deep, but I stopped short when I looked down and realized how deep I pushed the razor in, so I feel like a fucking flake for it. I don't want to sit here anymore, I want some fucking excitement. People need to make up their god damn minds about hanging out with me. This whole routine is getting really old really fast and I want something new. At least something better..
I want this fat to disapear and get the fuck off my body, leave me feeling light as a feather.
Fuck my lack of self control,
Amy
No comments:
Post a Comment